In online dating, don’t be the lazy guy

In online dating, I often see two competing factors:

1. People genuinely want to meet someone great (or at least they think they do).

2. People are lazy and don’t take the time to do online dating well or at all.

This conversation happened to a client of mine (the woman in this exchange) yesterday on Bumble:

Her: Do you still drink iced coffee in the winter? (Note: His profile mentioned his love of iced coffee.)

Him: I do!

Her: I like the dedication! Any other anomalies I should know?

Him: I have an irrational hatred for odd numbers.

Her: Really? But your age is an odd number. Are you so excited to turn 40 then?

Him: I am!

Her: Is it coming up?

Him: Exactly 90 days March 21st.

Her: 90 days even!

Him: You’re catching on.

Her: I’m a fast learner.

Him: I like that. You also happen to be very pretty.

Her: Thanks

Him: My pleasure.

Let’s assess what happened here. She used his “message bait” mention of iced coffee to start a conversation. (Good job!) He answered but did not ask her a question back. She prodded again with a question. He answered but did not ask her a question back. Again, she asked a question. He answered but did not ask her a question back. Notice a trend? This person is not engaging in the conversation. He is simply answering questions but not trying to get to know her in return. Her profile has plenty of information in it (I should know I wrote it!), so all he had to do was read it and ask something relevant.

At this point, the conversation is over. There is…

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