Getting what you want from dating apps without overinvesting

Question: With COVID I find myself relying on dating apps more and more.

I’m serious about finding a relationship and make a lot of effort with matches, but don’t find I get the same effort in return. Can you help?

Answer: Dear reader, you echo the voices of many folk who talk to me. They are putting themselves out there on dating apps and finding it difficult to meet people who are also looking for something serious.

COVID has definitely driven more people online — and given so many folk are now using dating apps, the way they are being used is also changing.

It was once a place for folk who were seriously looking for relationships, and it was also very stigmatised.

The apps are now ubiquitous and the stigma has fallen away.

As the user population swells (as with any online community) it can become a victim of its own success.

The quality of the pool is watered down as there are people who are looking for distraction, looking for validation, some ‘harmless’ flirting, or simply sex or friends with benefits.

There is nothing wrong with any of this, it just makes the process of finding people looking for serious relationships a little trickier as there is more to wade through.

Hold lightly

The first thing I would recommend is to hold lightly. So many people grab onto contacts and want to start…

Work out what you’re looking for

Read more