When it comes to online dating, a lot of people sign up every day having never really tried it before, and they don’t know exactly what to expect if they’re used to conventional dating.
Initially, there’s a sort of strange awkwardness that you might experience after you match with someone before either of you makes the first move. If you want to be successful in your online dating efforts, you need to be willing to be proactive.
It’s never a good idea to assume the person you matched with is going to be the first person to send a message. People often get nervous when it comes to online dating, and if you’re not willing to be the one to step up and take the initiative, neither of you will.
This can lead to a bit of a staleness and might even lead to the two of you just never talking, or eventually deleting the match. Some apps have even set up systems to help try to encourage proactivity.
Bumble, for example, has a 24 hour time limit set in place after you match with someone. If a message isn’t sent before those 24 hours are up, the two of you get unmatched and have to rematch at a later time if you ever want another shot.
Further, if the match is between a guy and a girl, the girl has to be the one to message first, so there’s no question about who has to send that first message. Being proactive is important not only to avoid that kind of stale awkwardness, but also to give you a good shot at showing some good personality traits.
Confidence is something that almost everyone looks for in a partner, and messaging first sets that certain tone of confidence, making you more appealing. It also gives your match a sense of satisfaction, the idea that their match really wanted to talk to them and was willing to make the first move.
If you’re going to be proactive, don’t be lazy about it. Starting off a conversation with “hey” doesn’t leave much room for a good response. If you start it off by talking about something you saw in their profile that you liked, you’re much more likely to spark a good conversation that can bring the two of you closer together. Don’t be afraid to talk about mutual interests early on.