Sometimes, life is out of control. During these unwanted situations, you have no choice but to surrender. Without any question, you will just accept the fact that you lose.

However, surrendering is not about giving up. It is an art of allowing other beautiful things to come within. Believe it or not, surrendering is a not a sign of weakness, but rather a strength.

The Basics

However, it doesn’t mean that when you have problems in life, you will easily give up. As long as you can and you are on a right side, you have to fight for whatever situation. You only need to give up if you think that there is no other means but to surrender. But, before you surrender, you have to ask yourself. What do you want to give up? Is it your career, relationship or what? Are you ready to face its consequences?

If you want to know the real meaning of allowing and surrendering, this book serves as your guide. From its basic principles to its underlying secrets, all of them can be fully identified. All you have to do is to sit back and learn how this art of allowing and surrendering affects your life!

Figuring Out What You Truly Value

Like other people, you are also confused on what to do with your life. Before making any action, you always weigh several things. One of the hardest decisions you can make is to surrender. To surrender is to give up control or power of something to someone else. It means that you agreed to stop fighting, resisting and hiding because you already knew that you will not succeed or win. But, before surrendering, you need to know what will be the results of your actions. You also need to know what you really value before giving up.

Knowing what you really value isn’t an easy task. Before you figure it out, you have to consider various things. If you are not sure what you want, you need a perfect guide.

For your reference, here are the things you need to consider:

What Do You Value

Know What You Love to Do

Surrendering is not just about giving up your career or love issues. It is all about any situation in your life. Say for instance, if you are a high school graduate student and your parents are forcing you to study abroad, you have to give up insisting to stay. You need to give up, especially when your parents are planning to migrate. If you love designing, you can also take courses related to field. Then, since you need to pick only one course, you need to know which course fits for your preferences and qualifications.

Watch People Around You

Through watching people around you, you can easily figure out what makes you happy. Depending on your choice, you can start mingling with your friends or other relatives. Then, you have to ask them what makes them happy.
Life is too simple to handle. It is just a matter on how you manage it.

If you treasure one thing, make sure that you show that you really value it. Don’t easily give up, instead fight for it. Once you value one thing or anything, expect that you can easily decide whether you have to allow or surrender it.

Follow Your Guts

Ask yourself, what makes you happy and what objects or activities are you attracted to? If you know the answer to these questions, you can easily determine whether you are making a right decision or not. Just make sure that don’t try to force your interest. Do the things you love to enjoy your life.

Try Everything

If you can’t figure out what you really want, you have to try everything. You can try different activities like sports. You can try both activities you like and you don’t like. While doing these things, you have a chance to discover new activities. This scheme will help you in deciding what you really want and love to do.

Analyze Yourself

To know what you really want, you have to analyze yourself. For the best guide, you can get a pencil and paper and jot down notes. If you love various things, you need to weigh which of them is the best. In life, you don’t need to get them all. You have to know when to allow or give up something.

After knowing what you truly value, your next move is to start deciding the things you want to give up. Since you hold on the things you love, expect that you are making a right choice. Like others, you will enjoy your life and you will always be happy.

The more you understand about the unknown the more you really comprehend how little you understand. It makes you modest and brings you back to the domain of wonders, miracles and magic. A domain in which everything is conceivable.

Please study this article with a wide-open mind. You don’t have to trust everything that’s written here – simply explore as a scientist would do. When you hit a passage that’s hard to grasp, take a break and ponder it awhile. Let your mind process this fresh information. Read this article a couple of times, take your time and produce your own experiences.

Those who truly want to attain a financially free mindset, have only to set their minds on it, and acquire the proper means, as they do in relation to any other aim which they want to achieve, and it can be easily done. But however simple it might be to make revenue, I have no doubt many will agree it’s the hardest thing in the world to hold on to it.

It consists merely in spending less than we bring in; that appears to be a really simple issue. A lot of my readers might say, “we comprehend this: this is mindset, and we know mindset is wealth; we know we can’t eat our cake and have it as well.”

The Basics

True mindset is misconceived, and individuals go through life without properly grasping what that principle is.
One says, “I’ve an income of so much, and here is my neighbor who has the same; yet yearly he flourishes and I fall short; why is it? I understand all about mindset.” He thinks he does, but he doesn’t.

There are men who believe that mindset consists in scrimping, in cutting off two cents from the wash bill and doing all sorts of little, mean things. Mindset isn’t meanness. The misfortune is, likewise, that this class of individuals let their mindset apply in only one direction. They fancy they’re so wonderfully frugal in saving a penny where they should spend two cents that they think they can afford to waste in other directions.

Before kerosene oil was exposed, one might stop overnight at nearly any farmer’s house and get a really good supper, but after supper he may attempt to read in the living room, and would find it impossible with the ineffective light of one candle.

The hostess, seeing his quandary, would state: “it’s rather hard to read here evenings; we never have an additional candle except on special occasions.” These special occasions happen, perhaps, twice a year. In that way the woman saves 5, 6, or 10 dollars: but the information which may be gained from having the extra light would, naturally, far outweigh a ton of candles.

But the difficulty doesn’t end here. Feeling that she is so frugal in candles, she believes she can afford to go often to spend 20 or 30 dollars for ribbons and frills, many of which are not essential. This false belief may frequently be seen in other instances.

You find great businessmen who save old envelopes and scraps of paper. This is all OK; they might in this way save 5 or 10 dollars a year, but being so frugal (only in paper), they believe they can afford to squander time; to have expensive parties, and to drive their fancy cars. This is an illustration of “penny wise and pound foolish.” I never knew a man to succeed by applying this sort of mindset.

True sound financial mindset consists in always making the profit exceed the expenditure. Wear the old clothes a bit longer if essential; give up the new pair of gloves; fix the old dress: exist on plainer food if need be; so that, under all conditions, unless some unexpected accident happens, there will be a allowance in favor of the profit.

A penny here and a dollar there saved, goes on accumulating, and in that way the desired result is accomplished. It requires some training, possibly, to achieve this mindset, but when once used to it, you’ll discover there’s more satisfaction in rational saving than in irrational spending.

Here is a formula which I advocate: I’ve found it to work a great cure for extravagance, and particularly for mistaken mindset. When you find that you’ve no surplus money at the end of the year, and yet have a great income, I advise you to take a couple of pieces of paper and mark down each item of expenditure.

Post it daily or weekly in 2 columns, one headed “essentials” or even “comforts”, and the other headed “luxuries,” and you’ll discover that the latter column will be double, or more, larger than the former. The true comforts of life cost but a small portion of what most of us may earn.

Think of the keep up with the Jones’ attitude: One may say; “there’s a man who has an income of fifty thousand dollars annually, while I have but one thousand dollars; I knew that young man when he was poor like myself; now he’s wealthy and thinks he’s better than I am; I’ll show him that I’m as good as he is; I will go and purchase a fancy car; no, I can’t do that, but I’ll go and rent one and ride this afternoon on the same road that he does, and therefore prove to him that I’m as good as he is.”

My friend, you don’t have to do all that; you may easily prove that you are “as good as he is;” you’ve only to behave as well as he does; but you can’t make anybody feel that you’re rich as he is. Also, if you act like this, and waste your time and spend your income, you’ll remain poor, in order that you might keep up “appearances,” and, after all, deceive nobody.

You’ll not advance in the world, if your envy forces you into debt. In this country, where we believe the majority ought to rule, we brush aside that principle in reference to style, and let a handful of individuals, calling themselves the aristocracy, run up a fake standard of perfection, and in striving to rise to that standard, we perpetually keep ourselves poor; all the time grinding away for the sake of outside appearances.

How much more sensible to say, “We’ll regulate our expenditures by our income, and save something for a rainy day.” Individuals should be as sensible on the issue of money as on any other subject. Like movements produce like effects. You can’t accumulate a fortune by taking the road that leads to impoverishment. Those who live beyond their means, with no thought of a setback in this life, may never attain monetary independence.

Men and women used to satisfying every impulse, will find it difficult, initially, to cut back their various unnecessary expenses, and will feel it a great denial to live in a littler home than they’ve been accustomed to, with less expensive furniture, less pricy clothing, less entertainment, and additional extravagances; but, after all, if they’ll try saving a “nest-egg,” or judiciously investing, they’ll be surprised at the joy from perpetually adding to their little “bundle”.

The old suit, and the old hat, will work for another season; the water tastes better than champagne; a brisk walk will prove more stimulating than a ride in the finest auto; an evening spent playing a family game will be far more pleasant than a 50 dollar night out, when you begin to know the pleasures of saving.

Thousands of men are kept poor, and tens of thousands are made so after they’ve acquired riches, in result of living beyond their means. “Easy come, easy go,” is an old and true adage. A spirit of pridefullness and vanity, when allowed to have full sway, is the undying problem.

Many individuals, as they set out to prosper, instantly start spending for luxuries, till in a short time their expenses eat up their income, and they become ruined in their absurd attempts to maintain appearances.

Most individuals never consider what they wish in their lives. They live without this knowledge or premeditation and become victims of their own condition. Work is simply about a job – to make do financially. Life becomes a series of troubles like choosing to live someplace because the rent is inexpensive, never realizing how to be in relationships or becoming ineffective parents. The list carries on and on.

See It

Inside you there’s a hungering for more. Is it meaning, contact or a richer understanding of life? No one has ever acquainted such individuals with the concept of perpetual possibility. “As a man thinketh, so is he.” A major mode to manifesting the life you wish is to think over what you wish out of life. What is it that you wish to do with your life?

A great exercise is to take a sheet of paper and put down the answers to the accompanying questions:

What is my deepest want?
What would I like to achieve in my lifetime?
What would I like to achieve this year?
Where would I wish to be in five years?
Where would I wish to be twenty years?
What am I great at?

Check into all fields of your life:

• Your line of work
• Your Relationship
• Your Wellness
• Your Financial state of affairs
• How you have fun ( how you spend your vacations)

After you’ve put down a list of what you wish to achieve in your life, you’ll need to set priorities for them. Simply take the list that you put down and provide every topic 1 – 5 points. 1 becoming the least crucial to five points becoming the most.

Now you’ve priorities in your life, which will help you determine where you wish your attention to be. It’s an easy equation: comprehend simply that you wish to spend most of your time with the number 1 matter on your list. Spend somewhat less time with the number 2 entry on your list – and so forth for numbers 3 through 5.

There’s no need to slice the day into time slots. Just by doing this exercise you’re programming your consciousness to spend time harmonizing with your list.

Let’s presume you’d like to discover your life partner in the next 2 years, and that this is your chief goal, at the very top of your list. When you check into your thought process at the end of the day and you discover that you’ve not spent most of your spare time addressing this goal, you’ve a misalignment, and you might never accomplish your goal.

When this occurs merely realize it and correct accordingly. Working all day only to sit down on your couch and watch television won’t get you where you wish to be.

You have to take action to manifest your goal(s), for instance:

• Take action by signing on for class
• Enroll in a weekend seminar on a matter that fascinates you
• Go to a workshop that centers on your interest
• Spend time at places where you are able to meet individuals

If your goal happens to be that you wish to be a millionaire inside 5 years, and you’re spending only 5 minutes of your time every day to achieve this goal, then don’t be surprised if your financial state of affairs never alters.
There’s another crucial aspect of manifestation here that calls for consistency. Let’s presume you’ve made your priority list and everything on your list feels great up to now.

It’s really crucial that you’re in emotional concord with your goals – they have to feel correct to you. If you merely make goals in your mind that are not useful to you then you’ll discover yourself having a difficult time working to accomplish them. What occurs with most individuals scenario is that they’ve a goal that feels correct for them, then they begin working at their goal.

Put differently, they place their attention into making their goal a fact. A couple of weeks go by and nothing occurs. Now dismay kicks in and the goal for some reason appears unreachable, the motivation is down to zilch. This is the point where you have to feel your dismay. Don’t simply place it away or discount it – face it as totally and consciously as you are able to.

This may be unpleasant for you however it will help you get nearer to your goal. How is this? When you wish to alter your reality you evidently have to do something differently than what you’ve done previously. So this is where the truth check comes in. You look around and can’t see any change. But changes might have already happened in your thinking and conduct.

You might have set matters in motion that you can’t yet see. Dismay sets in when you presume that matters ought to be happening sooner than you’re ready for them. Remember – there are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic time frames. So feel your dismay and let it resolve. View what you’ve done and realign your strategies. If one way doesn’t lead to success don’t quit at that point – merely attempt another.

If you stick with a goal you’ll accomplish it. Occasionally you might push too hard when you simply have to let go and take the pressure off. You question yourself at this point, trusting there’s nothing you are able to achieve. Go to the place in your brain where you know you can’t bomb. Reading a book or viewing a motivational movie might help to get you realigned with your mighty source.

The cornerstone of success in life is healthiness: that’s the substratum fortune; it’s likewise the cornerstone of happiness. An individual can’t amass a fortune very well when he is sick. He has no ambition; no motivator; no force.
Naturally, there are those who have unsound health and can’t help it: you can’t expect that such individuals may amass wealth, but there are a good many in poor health who need not be so.

Most successful individuals have something in common. They enjoy what they do. You won’t discover wealthy and successful individuals that detest what they do.

Have A Look

Each of us is unparalleled, having particular talents and gifts. It’s something innately built-in in all of us, a compounding of energy patterns leading toward a natural kinship for particular issues in life, particular ways of being. Among the most crucial jobs in your life is to discover these talents and gifts inside yourself, which is an acknowledgement of what you’ve brought into your creation.

Let’s presume that you’re presented a hammer without having any cognition of how to use this tool. Remain with me now – this is a stark over-simplification of a highly crucial aspect of your truth. You’re presented nails but you utilize the incorrect end of the hammer. You can’t see any success with achieving your task of beating in the nails. You’ve the tool but not the cognition of its correct use.

Likewise, how may we manage our lives without understanding the many tools usable and their applications? You may even have an instant of enlightened clarity. We may all relate to at last understanding something that had been messing us up. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody had shared the essential info in advance – before going through frustration and maybe surrender?

Realizing your own strengths and talents is utterly crucial for any further steps you take in life. Putting them down ought to make them more real to you if you’re not used to thinking of them. If you understand your distinctive strengths and gifts you ought to be able to write them down in a couple of sentences without having to think too much about the procedure.If you’re not certain, or you truly have no clue, here are a couple hints that will help you describe them:

Remember your childhood:

• What were the playthings you liked to play with?
• What were you intrigued with?
• What did you like most to play?
• What gifts did you want to get for your birthday and Christmas?
• What did you aspire to become in your future?

Ask your nearest acquaintances: 

Tell your acquaintances that you wish to reassess your talents and you need a realistic opinion from them. Make certain to ask your acquaintances to be 100% truthful with you. Let them take a new look at you and ask them to blank out what you’re doing professionally – keep it on a personal plane.

• What do your acquaintances believe you’re good at?
• What do they believe your talents are?
• What do they urge you ought to do with your life?
• Ask yourself a couple of questions

Take a notebook and read through these enquiries. Make certain you open your mind and let these questions solidify in your imagination. Don’t take these queries too earnestly, play with them and likewise put down what bobs up spontaneously – these are occasionally the most fundamental answers.

These questions are configured to bring your consciousness out of the normal mentality. The most dependable solutions are always discovered outside the normal domain of thinking. Remember, your mind is part of the collective awareness; consequently you’ve access to all info. Your mind is connected to the infinite source of all cosmos.

What would you do if you possessed enough income not to work ever again?

• What were your ambitions when you were younger?
• What do you believe is impossible for you to accomplish?
• What would you do if you acquired 5 million dollars?
• What would you do if this was the crack of doom?
• What would you do if you could not bomb?
• What are your specialties and talents?
• Do you have a want but don’t know how to satisfy it?
• What do you like most about other people?
• What would your ideal life-style look like?
• What does success mean for you?
• What makes you truly happy?
• What does a perfect day look like for you?
• What would you do if there were no limitations?
• What would you be esteemed and recognized for?
• Where do you view your life in 10 years?
• If you were immortal, what would you accomplish with your life?
• What needs to shift to make this a better Earth?
• What are you proud of?
• What would you like to achieve this year?
• What would you do differently if you could begin once again?

Discovering your strengths and talents is like first constructing the basement for your home. It’s your foundation. It’s like the dirt from which a solid and beautiful tree may grow. It supplies you with your unique potential. It’s the unique endowment that came with you when you were born. You are being asked here to nurture it till it’s substantial enough to guide you in your life.

Don’t blow your time chasing somebody else’s ambition or goal or anything that isn’t given to you that you can’t claim 1st as your own. Utilize the gifts you came in with or the ones you acquired along the way. You might become really good at something but you’ll never discover true, lasting happiness with it if you can’t own it totally.

Utilize whatever tools you feel comfy with. Attempt to discover a way to dig deeper into yourself. This is your life – and you’re worth it! If good health is the cornerstone of success and happiness in life, how crucial it is that we ought to study the laws of wellness! And yet how many individuals there are who pay no attention to this, but absolutely breach it, even against their own innate inclination.

We should know that the “ignorance” is never bliss. A youngster might poke its finger into the fire without knowing it will burn, and so suffers. Many individuals knowingly violate the laws of nature against their better impulses, for the sake of style. For example, there’s one thing that no one would ever naturally love, and that’s tobacco; yet how many individuals there are who purposely train an unnatural appetite, and get to love it.

They have got hold of a poison; or rather it takes a firm hold of them. A perilous feature is that this artificial appetite, like jealousy, “develops by what it feeds upon;” when you love that which is unnatural, a heavier appetite is produced for the injurious thing than the natural desire for what is harmless. There’s an old proverb which states that “habit is second nature,” but an artificial habit is firmer than nature.

Youth regrets that they’re not grown; they would like to go to bed children and wake up adults; and to accomplish this they copy the foul habits of their elders. Little Mike sees his father or uncles smoke a pipe, and they say, “If I could only do that, I would be a grownup too; uncle John has left and left his pipe of tobacco, let me try it.”

He acquires a match and lights it, and then puff away. “I’ll learn to smoke; but it tastes bitter; he thinks” later he grows pale, but he persists, sticks to it and perseveres till finally he conquers his natural appetite and becomes the victim of acquired tastes.

His palate has become narcotized by the harmful smoke. This shows what expensive, useless and harmful habits men will get into. I speak from experience. I’ve smoked till I trembled, the blood rushed to my head, and I had a quivering of the heart which I thought was a heart condition.

When I consulted my doctor, he said “stop using tobacco.” I wasn’t only injuring my health and spending a lot of money, but I was setting a bad example. I obeyed his advice. These comments apply with tenfold force to the utilization of intoxicating drinks. To make revenue, calls for a clear brain.

A man has got to see that 2 and 2 make 4; he has to set all his plans with contemplation and caution, and closely examine all the details and the ins and outs of business. As no man may succeed in business unless he has a mind to enable him to set his plans, and reason to lead him in their execution, so, regardless how plentifully a man might be blessed with intelligence, if the mind is muddled, and his judgment distorted by intoxicating drinks, it’s impossible for him to conduct business successfully.

How many great opportunities have passed, never to come back, while a man was sipping a “social glass,” with his acquaintance! How many dopey bargains have been made under the influence, which temporarily makes its victim believe he’s rich? How many crucial chances have been postponed till tomorrow, and then eternally, as the wine has thrown the system into a state of lethargy, neutralizing the energies so crucial to success in business?

At one point in your lifetime, you might ask yourself why others are so successful with money when you’re not. Depending upon how closely you look, you’ll have a lot of answers.

Do these sound like something you think?

• They’re just more prosperous than I am
• They’ve better training than I do
• They were born into a wealthy family
• They’re white and have more beneficial opportunities than I do
• They already had the revenue to begin a business
• They already had the revenue to invest in realty
• They’re brighter than I am
• They’re younger than I am
• They look better than I do
• They likely work harder than I do

The list likely carries on filling many pages. Money is the topic that renders the most notions, followed by the issue of relationships. You might not understand this yet, but your notions are the pattern for your reality. If you knew that, would you designedly create one from the list above? Likely not, as these notions are not supportive at all.

These beliefs produce a truth that leaves you ‘playing’ the dupe, and moreover, keeps you right where you are. You’re not bettering your life one bit. Why are we producing these notions in the first place, when we understand that they’re not constructive in the least?

The answer dwells nature of our consciousness. Most of us were told that there’s a universe out there and this universe conditions our truth. It’s the common notion that life happens to us. Most of us get these notions supported several times per day. The consequence is that our consciousness becomes imprinted every day with the same message. The message with the same old notion.

In the meantime, as grownups, we’re not even cognizant that our life, ‘as it happens’ is constructed around a notion. It becomes a fundamental reality that we prove to ourselves in every moment. So how do we get out of this quandary? We have to take a step backwards and view our notions. Take a sheet of paper and a pencil and put down all the notions you have about income.

Don’t think excessively, be spontaneous. When you’ve run out of your own notions, consider what others notions are about money. Then mark each notion with an ‘I’ or an ‘S’ depending if the notion is hindering or supportive. Hindering notions don’t support producing wealth, supportive notions do. Now, view your list and count every supportive and hindering notion. What is your score?

How many hindering notions do you have, and how many supportive notions do you have? Recognize that all the hindering notions don’t support the production of fortune. Now, take a fresh sheet of paper, and brainstorm notions that will precisely produce the wealth you’d like to have. When you’re done with the list, check out each of your fresh notions and produce a mental picture.

Hold this image for at least ten – twenty seconds. You might require some practice, but each time you do it, you’ll get better at it. Do this exercise in a calm, tranquil and relaxed environment, as this will help to impress these notions into your consciousness.

Remember, notions are the design of what will manifest in your life. With a little preparation, you’ll be able to move onto the next stage, which is feeling your notions. Feel as though these fresh notions, that foster what you truly want to create, have really been manifested.

• How does it feel to be a millionaire?
• How does it feel to have copiousness in your life?
• How does it feel to have more income than you are able to spend?
• How does it feel to give to other people?
• How does it feel to purchase something without having to view the price?

Whenever you see yourself thinking or speaking a hindering belief about money, quit what you’re doing. Return to the place in your mind where you call up one of your purposely created beliefs about revenue, and connect with it. The more you accomplish this, the more you’ll train your brain to think in a fresh way, a way that heads to living an abundant and favorable life.

Let me kickoff by admitting that I’ve been flat broke previously. I’ve had those times where I was altogether stressed about how I was going to pay the bills that were really past due! I’ve likewise had times where I’ve had more than adequate income to pay all my bills and purchase boats, autos and take big holidays.

I’ve had both of the experiences in a matter of weeks. I’m going to explain, really simply, what I’ve done to return into alignment with producing more than enough revenue and more.

Steps to Build Wealth

Draw the line in the sand. Arrive at a choice. From this instant forward you’ll draw in more revenue and produce a structure and habits that support a fresh and bettered level of wealth. You have to stand for this. You have to be thirsty for change.

You have to trust you are able to do this. Even if you’re frightened that this time won’t be different from the other times, you’ve made this selection. You’ll take a few actions now that won’t let you slip out the back entrance on yourself. Take a bit of effort now to back yourself in the larger goal.

What is it precisely that you wish to be different? If you wish more revenue to come in the door, how much and how frequently? Do you wish an additional ten thousand this year or monthly? Do you wish your business to gross an additional million or net an additional million? When? This month? This year? By next year? You have to decide or it becomes one of those “someday” things.

If, an amount feels unreachable, then make it littler. If the amount you’ve selected feels too little and you’ll still be wishing you had more revenue, than make it larger. Above all, whatever sum of money you’re deciding to have, mean what you state. This is so easy, but this is where most individuals fall and the rest their efforts don’t generate successful results.

And one additional thing, its nobody else’s business what numbers you pick. Some individuals may judge your numbers as being too little or large based on their own life. As long as you feel firm about your selection and you’re not wimping out on yourself, go on it!

What will you spend the money on? Once more, this is your money and you have to be emotionally attached to it. Where is it going to go? If you’re going to pay debts, arrive at a plan for how you’ll accomplish it and then choose where the money will go when the debt is paid back. Now you’ve the origins of a plan. That was simple, eh?!

If you’re going to save income, how much and to where? You might have to do a little imagining and inquiry to perfect this step. If you wish to expand your business with some of this additional money, it might take you a little extra planning, but you’ll be very energized. This exhilaration will help move you towards success.

Now, clear up and put down how this is going to feel once achieved. I recognize to a few of you this step will sound like a waste. Don’t skip over this step. You need to make this goal so real in your brain and heart that you run, not walk, to more riches. This step is essential in both technique and the Law of Attraction.

Produce precise actions and habits that you’ll apply beginning now to support this goal of more riches. You might only require a couple of actions. This isn’t rocket science. For a few of you, it might merely be a matter of producing accountability. You already understand what to do. For a few of you, it might be about producing an entire new relationship with income.

I know a couple of you need to quit your job or remove or add fresh team members. Yes, you might dread a few things on your list, but will you be glad once you do it? If the answer is yeah, keep it on your list. Dissect big actions into little steps so they’re digestible.

Inspired action. Many of you’ve heard this a million times but you’re still not applying it. Are you taking actions that feel great? Are they somebody else’s “should’s” or are they really something you’ve selected to do. Your intuition is speaking to you. Are you hearing?

Who’s going to support you? Are you invested enough to see this goal through? Will you believe that you’ll succeed even when you don’t believe there are any signs of betterment over a long time period? Who’s going to help you in a way that really works for you? Consistency is key.

If you truly wish to have more money in your bank account and wallet, then print this out and follow the steps in the next twenty-four hours. This whole process might take as little as an hour or two. How passionate are you about becoming wealthy? It’s not a matter of “if” you’ll be more prosperous, but “when.”

How many have nearly accomplished the goal of their aspiration, but, losing faith in themselves, have loosened up their energies, and the golden prize has been lost eternally. If you pause, some bolder hand will stretch forth and acquire the prize. Recall the proverb of Solomon: “He becomes poor that deals with a slack hand; but the hand of the diligent gets rich.”

Perseverance is occasionally but a different word for self-reliance. A lot of individuals naturally look on the dark side of life, and adopt trouble. They’re born so. Then they invite advice, and they’ll be governed by one current of air and blown by a different, and can’t rely on themselves. Till you are able to get so that you are able to rely on yourself, you need not expect to succeed.

Men who have met with monetary reverses, and utterly committed suicide, because they believed they could never overpower their misfortune. But I’ve known other people who have met graver financial troubles, and have bridged them over by mere perseverance, aided by a solid belief that they were doing right.

You’ll see this illustrated in any sphere of life. Work at it, if essential, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never putting off for a single hour that which may be done just as well right away.
The old adage is full of truth and meaning, “Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.”

Many a man develops a fortune by doing his business thoroughly, while his neighbor stays poor in life, because he only half does it. Ambitions, vitality, industry, doggedness, are indispensable essentials for success in business.
Fortune forever favors the courageous, and never helps a man who doesn’t help himself. It won’t do to spend your time in waiting for something to “turn up.”

To such men one of 2 things commonly “turns up:” the poorhouse or sorrow: for idleness breeds foul habits, and clothes a man in rags. The poor spendthrift vagrant says to a wealthy man:

“I have discovered there’s enough money in the world for all of us, if it was evenly divided; this must be done, and we shall all be content together.”

“But,” was the reply, “if everyone was like you, it would be spent in 2 months, and what would you do then?”
“Oh! Divide once more; keep dividing, naturally!”

Do your part of the work, or you can’t succeed. Mohammad, one night, while camping in the desert, overheard one of his dog-tired followers note: “I’ll loose my camel, and trust it to the higher power!” “No, no, not so,” stated the prophet, “tie thy camel, and trust it to the higher power!” Do all you are able to for yourselves, and then trust to luck, or whatever you call it, for the remainder.

In the nature of matters, an agent can’t be as faithful to his employer as to himself. Several who are employers will call to mind cases where the best employees have neglected important points which may not have escaped their notice as an owner.

No man has a right to expect to win in life unless he understands his business, and nobody may understand his business thoroughly unless he studies it by personal application and experience. A man might be a manufacturer: he has got to study the many details of his business personally; he will discover something daily, and he will find he will make errors nearly daily.

And these very errors are helps to him in the way of experiences if he simply minds them. You have to exercise your caution in setting your plans, but be bold in carrying them out. A man who’s all caution, will never dare to take charge and be successful; and a man who’s all boldness, is simply foolhardy, and must finally fail.

A man may go on “’change” and make 50 thousand dollars in speculating in stocks, at a single procedure. But if he has mere boldness without care, it’s simple chance, and what he gains now he will lose tomorrow. You have to have both the caution and the daring, to guarantee success.

Never have anything to do with an ill-fated man or place. That’s to say, never have anything to do with a man or place which never wins, as, although a man might appear to be honest and smart, yet if he attempts this or that thing and forever fails, it is on account of some error or debility that you might not be able to discover but all the same which must exist.

There’s no such thing in the world as luck. There never was a man who could go out in the morning and come across a purse full of gold in the street today, and another tomorrow, and so forth, day in day out: He might do so once in his life; but so far as simple luck is concerned, he’s as liable to lose it as to discover it.

Like causes produce like consequences. If a man acquires the proper techniques to be successful, “luck” won’t prevent him. If he doesn’t succeed, there are reasons for it, although, maybe, he might not be able to see them.

Life becomes more worth living when you know that for every good thing that you did, a reward is bound to come your way. By this time, you already know that stopping your addictions is possible only if you will really put your heart and mind to it. The last but definitely not the least tool for you to completely free yourself from your bad habits is learning to reward yourself for every accomplishment that you make.

Through meaningful rewards, you can be more motivated to do better the next day and you will strive even harder to make sure that you will get another great reward in the future. With this kind of inspiration and motivation, you will have the drive to become better and better every day as you finish your journey to complete recovery from your addiction.

Every Accomplishment Deserves a Good Reward

Reward systems are being used in many situations today. At home, in schools and even in workplaces, a reward system is considered as a helpful tool for people to do better. This serves as a motivation for the children to do their chores at home. Students learn to embrace their lessons better and complete their homework because they know that they will be rewarded for everything that they do.

Employees feel more valued and appreciated when their employees reward them for their achievements. Reward systems can certainly do wonders when it comes to inspiring people to strive better and even in your recovery from addiction, rewarding yourself for every accomplishment that you make can inspire you to move forward and finish what you have started.

Maybe you were able to say no to your friends’ invitation of going to the bar after work. Maybe the sight of marijuana no longer made you feel any cravings to take a toke. Maybe you were able to stop yourself from watching the porn video that popped up during your search.

These things might seem like a simple accomplishment for others but for those who are addicted to alcohol, marijuana and pornography, these simple actions are a giant leap on their way to recovery and these things definitely deserve some reward.

The rewards will be all up to. You can either set it for yourself or you can ask your family and friends to give you something for every accomplishment that you make. The main point here is that you will get something good out of being able to resist the lure of your addictions.

At the end of the day, it is not really the reward that matters. What matters is that even if there is no reward, it will now be easier for you to say No to your addictions. This is because you have already accepted it in your heart and mind that your bad habits will never do you any good and letting them go is the only way for you to be able to live the kind of life that you want, the life that you deserve.

Hopefully, this article has helped you in learning how to stop your addictions. Use the tools that you discovered to finally break free from all your bad habits.

This is all very good and well, but how exactly do you go about changing your mindset? How do you take back control, reclaim your happiness and start living a fulfilling and inspiring life again? The thing to do is to diagnose the problem. What exactly is wrong with your mind to begin with? And how can you fix those issues? Well, not to alarm you, but there’s probably a lot wrong with your mind.

Don’t worry though: it’s fairly common and it’s very much a sign of the times. I can guess that you aren’t completely happy with where you are right now. Maybe you don’t like who you are right now. I know this because you’re reading this article. If what you’re doing right now is working for you then great! But if it’s not, or if it could be working better, then something needs to change.

Here are some starting points that can help you see precisely what you might need to change.

1-Responsibility

The first problem that many of us have is that we don’t take responsibility for our actions and we don’t want to take responsibility for our actions. Now we all know people who don’t like taking responsibility – they will blame others and they will make excuses for what they’ve done. These are the people with the external locusts of control that we have already discussed.

But while this might seem like an irritating problem for people around them, the reality is that this is a much deeper issue that affects them more than it does anyone else. Because a completely refusal to accept responsibility means that you also reject your own autonomy and your control. If you believe that nothing is your fault, then you also really can’t take credit for anything that goes well.

Moreover, it means that you don’t have any power over your life and it means that you can’t choose to change things.

It’s not up to you, it’s up to chance!

It gets worse too. If you are too used to avoiding responsibility, then chances are that you will avoid taking responsibility for other things in your life too. That means you’ll avoid making commitments to people, which might make you feel ‘free’ but ultimately means you get left behind as those around you settle down into relationships and find fulfilling careers.

It means you’ll put yourself forward for fewer tasks in the work place – at least those tasks that have any major consequences. And if you aren’t responsible for large amounts of money, then you can’t expect to get paid large amounts of money either.

Being afraid of responsibility will even make you less impressive, decisive and confident in a day-to-day scenario. When someone asks you to make a decision, you won’t want to because you won’t want to be responsible for what happens if you get it wrong.

And unfortunately, life has made it all too easy for us to learn this lack of responsibility. We are sheltered by so much technology and for the most part, life has become much easier. Our childhoods have also become extended to a massive degree and especially in the current generation of youths.

These days many of us will stay at school until we are 18 and will then attend college for 3, 4 of 6 years after that depending on the amount of qualifications we obtain. Throw in a gap year and some time ‘finding our feet’ and many of us don’t begin our careers until we’re in our mid-to-late-twenties.

This was exacerbated by the economic crash of the last decade. Many people leaving college struggled to find work, which left them without workplace responsibilities and very often still living with their parents. Generations previous were likely married homeowners with children at this point.

And it’s hard to ditch this mentality. It’s hard to stop being a perpetual child. And while there are positive sides to this (it’s good for creativity, for dreaming and for enjoyment in the moment), ultimately life will catch up and we won’t be prepared. We are too soft mentally to cope with the challenges that will come our way. We’ve lost the ability to be decisive, strong, action-takers.

What can you do to fix it? We’ll explore this in more depth in some of the other reports but the key to acknowledge is that you must learn to accept the possibility of a less-than-perfect outcome. Accept that there will be times when things go wrong and it’s your fault.  And when that does happen, be willing to put your hand up and admit it. That’s what it means to be an adult. And that’s what will give you the strength to start taking more chances and making more bold decisions.

2- We Care Too Much What Others Think

Ultimately, number one comes down to doing away with fear. This is another topic we’re going to address more over the coming reports but for now let’s hone in on one very specific example of fear, one very specific cause. That is that we care too much what others think.

This is something that occupies a lot of our thoughts for many of us and something that can actually be quite tiring. Many of us will simply not do something if we think it is going to make us look unusual. If we think it will elicit stares.

Not only that, but caring too much what others think is what makes it so hard for us to take responsibility for things: we don’t want to seem to be weak or to lose the trust or respect of other people. You know what the biggest irony of this is? It is the refusal to take action and take responsibility that actually makes people lose respect. This is what makes us appear weaker.

Many of us also struggle to go after the things that we want in life because we are too busy worrying about pleasing others. We’re so busy saying yes to invitations that we don’t really want to go to and spending money on things that we think we should own, that we don’t have the resources left to spend on things that really matter to us. And this of course greatly limits what we are capable of and the quality of our lives.

Now I’m not telling you to forget other people entirely and to become an ass. That’s certainly not going to improve your life!

But learn the subtle difference:

• Care if other people are happy
• Don’t care what other people think of you

This is the most heroic mindset because it means you’ll do kind things for people without even telling anyone and even be willing to make yourself look foolish. But at the same time, you’ll be much happier because you won’t be living up to the expectations that you believe other people to have.

You’ll be able to take more responsibility for yourself and you’ll have one less huge thing causing you stress.
So how do you make the switch? It is easier said than done of course but the key to getting started is to stop holding yourself to the standards of others and to start holding yourself only to your own standards. Judge yourself on your own terms and by your own code of conduct.

3-We Are Impulsive and Reactive

Perhaps the biggest symptom of modern life is just how badly impulsive and reactive we have become. And this really is something that has been exacerbated by modern technologies and convenience. Did you know that our attention span has measurably deteriorated over recent decades?

The reigning view is that this is caused by time spent on the internet. When we read a blog post we can skip across the headlines and the bullet points and then stop reading. Often we’ll get our information from YouTube or Twitter – which is limited to only 140 characters! When we find the piece of information we want, we can close the tab and search for the next thing.

It will be there in seconds! We’ve become very good at quickly skimming and assimilating information but we’ve trained ourselves out of sustaining our attention and concentrating. And this is then made a lot worse by all the other things vying for our attention and all the other immediate gratification we get. We have all the food, all the entertainment, all the gratification we could possibly need right at our fingertips.

Much of it is free. And much of it can be served up in seconds depending on your internet speed. Adverts are designed with bright colors and attractive faces to grab our attention. There is noise everywhere. And thus we have become incredibly reactive. Every one of these distractions that leads to reward will trigger a dopaminergic response. Eating a sweet, loading up PornHub, playing a computer game, watching a YouTube video.

This reinforces the same pathways in the brain that are present in addicts. And it completely undermines our ability to control our attention and to decide what we want to look at. How we want to behave. So, when we sit down to work towards a massive deadline, it should come as no surprise that the first thing we do is check Facebook. And make tea. And grab a snack.

How do you get out of this rut? There are a few ways and again, we’re going to delve deeply into all of this. But one of the simplest fixes is to try meditation. Meditation teaches us to take conscious control of our mind, to be more in the moment and to avoid distractions. This can help us to become incredibly more disciplined and focused and can certainly do away with a lot of procrastination and impulsivity.

4-We Are Lazy and Tired

The other big problem that prevents us from achieving what we want and that causes a whole lot of unhappiness is laziness. Most of us know what we should be doing but we lack the effort to do it. When given a choice, we will take the easier route. In the short-term this is great. It means you get to spend the evening on the couch with a bag of chips watching your favorite trashy TV.

But in the long term it means you lack the stimulus for growth. And guess what? Growth is perhaps the most important thing we need to be happy. Because you are never still and stable. If you are not going forward, you are going backward. If you are not growing, you are regressing. If you don’t exercise then your muscles atrophy. But likewise, if you don’t use your brain and if you don’t challenge your mind, then your brain physically shrinks.

Worse, you unlearn how to apply effort.But part of this is not laziness. Part of this is stress and tiredness. Because the problem is that we typically lead such busy, stressful and fast paced lives that we simply have no energy left at the end of the day to do anything about it.Is it any surprise? Most of us commute into work for 30-90 minutes on a train or bus or sitting in traffic in the car.

We then fight our way through a busy street into the office where we sit in a cramped, stuffy room and get shouted at by clients and unhappy customers. We work to urgent deadlines and end up staying late, then we make the precise same commute back home. You can add malnutrition on top of this for many of us. Halogen lights too. Loud noises. Air pollution.

All these things upset the body and cause physiological stress. These put us further into the fight or flight state and the body simply can’t tell the difference. This exhausts us. And that’s what makes us choose the fast food in the cupboard and it’s what makes us skip the workout. It’s also what causes us to argue with our partners and not have time for our kids. And it’s not even time that’s the issue here so much as energy.

Your psychological energy is a finite resource. So, the first thing you need to do is to start buying yourself more energy. That might mean looking into easier ways into work, or it might mean swapping to an easier job. It means finding space in your life so that you can stop reacting and being in fight or flight. They you can start to become proactive and make your way onto your inspire path.

Can you really ‘think yourself rich’? I’m here to tell you that it is not only possible, but that it is also actually the best chance you have of making a lot of money. Many of us dream of living in a large luxurious house in a sunny country, we imagine wearing smart suits that exude power and confidence and we wish that we didn’t have to make so many hard choices because our funds can’t support the lifestyles we want to lead.

If that sounds familiar, then you need to make a change. And as with ALL things, that change starts with you and your mindset. If you want to be wealthy, then what are you doing about it? And is there any chance that you may, in fact, be going about it the wrong way?

Wealth and Your Career

Ask the average person in the street what they would hypothetically need to do in order to become richer and 99% of them will tell you the same thing: get a better job. Okay, fair enough. They are not wrong per say. Indeed, getting a better job won’t hurt their income and that in turn will likely mean they get richer at least a little.

But in fact, this is not the whole story. And what’s more, is that this isn’t even the main part of the story. Wealth and salary are not inextricably linked. They are related sure, but only to a small degree. If you wanted to see an equation telling you how to get wealthy, then it would really look like this:

Wealth = Income – Outgoings
So, let’s say that your income is determined solely by the amount of money you are making at work. Even in that scenario, you still have another, equally as important factor. That is your outgoings. If you earning a cool million dollars a month but you also waste a million dollars a month of lavish holidays and on nights out and clothes, then you are ultimately not going to be very well off. Rather, you’re likely to lose money over time.

But if you are earning a more normal $2500 a month but you only spend $500, then suddenly you are saving $2000 per month. In 12 months, you’ll have $24,000 saved away. That’s a decent down payment on a house! So, you now have two options. Two ways to get richer. One is that you seek to get a better job and increase your income and the other is that you save more money and spend less.

How to Spend Less

When I was at university, my summer job was working at a yacht club. Specifically, I was a waiter in one of the restaurants there that was actually paid for and owned by the clientele of the club. The club was located in Sandbanks, England – an area that is also sometimes referred to as ‘millionaire’s row’ because it has among the most expensive real estate in the world along the seafront.

So, these are people who own yachts and who belong to a club that is situated in one of the wealthiest parts of the world. Suffice to say that they were not struggling for cash. And of course, what many people would point out to me is that this should likely result in pretty big tips!

Except that’s not what happened. In fact, I received some of the worst tips I have in any job. I had a lady call me over to secretively give me 20p (around 30cents) for my hard work. She literally told me to buy myself something nice. And this is bearing in mind that it is standard practice in England to tip 10%. The meals usually cost close to $150.
I told my Mum this and her response was: how do you think they got rich, dear?

Makes sense
Look, I’m not here to tell you you should become stingy with tips. But what I am telling you is that the wealthiest people recognize that every little bit adds up and makes a very big difference in the long run. Your aim now is not to fritter. That $3 coffee you have every morning on the way to work is actually $15 over the course of a week. $60 over a course of a month and $720 over the course of the year.

That is a tiny amount and that’s before we have even considered all those other things you likely pay for that you don’t really need. Maybe your Spotify account, Netflix, 100+ TV Channels, gas for the car for all those trips you don’t really need to make. It adds up. Worse are all those larger purchases we make on an impulse.

These are things like clothes that we think will make us look smart, games consoles, PCs, overly advanced phones. How much did your phone cost you? If you’re on a contract, then chances are you’ll be paying $700 or more for it. Now ask yourself how much more that phone really does than something for $300. Do you really need the fastest processor around? Considering that even an old phone can play everything in the app store?

Do you really need a 30 megapixel camera? Or a 4K screen? Can you even see the difference between 4K and 1080p?The real problem here is marketing, the internet and other people. We have unfortunately been conditioned to associate these items with success and to find them highly desirable. We want to get the latest phone, car, computer etc. because it looks so sexy in those adverts. But the reality is that these things don’t really bring us happiness.

Likewise, we are told that we need to buy a large house, go on lavish holidays. Is this really for us? Or is it so that we can look successful to others? I’m not telling you to cut back on all the things that make you happy here. There is no point in having wealth if you aren’t going to enjoy it and have a better quality of life for you and your family.

All I’m telling you is to make sure you are certain of what it is that does make you happy. And that often means deciding what you don’t need and what you should be prioritizing. Have you always dreamed of a beautiful big house? Then why not stop going on those big holidays for a while? Why not stop buying widescreen TVs? And how about considering getting that big beautiful house in a less expensive area?

Heck, if you move to Spain, then there are places where you can live in a five bedroom home with swimming pool and roof pool and it will only cost you $200,000. You could almost buy that in cash and think about how much money you would start making then once there was no mortgage!

Conversely, if all you want is to travel the world, then you can change your accommodation to something less glamorous. How about moving to quiet neighborhood and living in a spare bedroom for a while?  Your outgoings will be low, so you can enjoy going on more holidays and still save up that wealth. Know what you want to achieve with that money. Know what wealth means to you and then you can focus on being more efficient with your money.

Financial Modelling

This will also help you to set up a budget and/or a plan. If you know how much you have coming in and how much you’d like to be making per month, saving per month and spending on things that make you feel wealthy per month, then you can create a budget that will help you to reach that point within a specific timeframe. This then is where you can look at those small things you can cut out to save money.

If you have a spreadsheet that contains all your income and all your outgoings per month, then you can look at what kind of impact cutting coffee from your routine would actually make. You’ll be left with a total profit at the end of each month and you can decide how much of that you want to put into savings and how much you intend to spend on other things.

You can even set up standing orders in your accounts so that money saved automatically gets transferred to a savings account. With such a spreadsheet, you can then multiply the savings you are making by any given number of months and see projections of what your finances are likely to be at certain points in the future. Need more money for an upcoming expense?

Then look at something else you can do to cut your expenditure. This is called ‘financial modelling’ and it’s a powerful tool for building your wealth rather than just letting it ‘happen’ without your direction or input.

A Couple More Ways to Save Money

And what if you have run out of things you can cut in order to save money? What if you are living on as little as possible? A few other options include changing your providers for bills, selling off old items, or even moving money between accounts in order to receive bonuses. A friend of mine does this religiously and will even take out credit cards with 0%APR, just so that he can put all of that money into an ISA and then make profit on it.

If he gets a cash incentive to signing up for anything then he will sign up! And he never buys a new piece of tech or even clothing without taking one of the older items to sell and thereby offset the cost. Something else to note is that if you have a dream of a wealthy future, then you might need to ‘be okay’ with living a little more simply for a while in order to get there.

You need to put the work in now, to reap the rewards in the future. And this is hard because it often once again means forgetting the conventional signals of wealth and success. Once again, you have to do this for you and not be worried about what others might think. So for example, if you want to someday have a beautiful home, one of the very best things you can do is to live with your parents if they will let you.

Sure, it’s not glamorous and it’s not fun, but if they charge a small amount of rent you’ll be able to save so much per month that it will help you to get on the property ladder MUCH faster. You could then buy a smaller home in a less attractive area but flip the property to make a big profit. You need to put in the graft and have an eye on the future.

Likewise, you might need to learn to stop trying to demonstrate your wealth and stability to friends. Have you ever met up with a friend and eaten in a restaurant that you can’t really afford because you want to see them and because it is embarrassing to suggest eating somewhere cheaper? As you can imagine, this isn’t exactly conducive to getting wealthy quickly! Again, you need to be willing to tell them that you can’t afford it and to go elsewhere.

How about you suggest they meet you at your house?

Setting Up Revenue Streams

Next come the revenue streams. We’ve seen how you can actually become richer without changing your job, simply by spending less. The other strategy is to become wealthier by having more than one income stream. Once again, your salary isn’t determining your wealth! So, what might this mean? One simple option is to take on another job, such as a weekend job.

If you are happy to work on a Saturday, then you will have potentially $150 extra to spend each week! That’s $600 per month or $7,200 per year! Save that and in a couple of years, you can be living in a nice house – or you can use it right now to feel that bit wealthier and wear those fancy clothes. This is a big sacrifice though granted. So, what would be better for most people would be to earn money online for instance.

Tim Ferriss describes creating a ‘muse’ in his book The Four Hour Workweek, which is a small online business that generates a passive income. This can be as simple as finding an affiliate product (a product that you sell for commission) and making a simple website recommending it, then sending people there with ads. This is very low maintenance but can potentially make a fair amount of money.

You could try matched betting alternatively (a form of betting that ensures you can’t lose – it uses only the free bonus amounts that you get given for signing up) or you could look for a simple online job. How about selling photography online? Working as a writer or a web designer? Or, like a friend of mine, try commentating on sports for websites?

You can also make money from arts and crafts of course and sell some things you make on the side, or you can buy and sell items in bulk on eBay! Then there are the other options that work offline: these include such things as renting out rooms to students, such as mowing the neighbor’s lawn, cutting hair, teaching an instrument etc.
All these options will help you to make an income that will be additional to your current income.

Not only does this of course give you a better total, but it will also help to make you more ‘resilient’ so that if anything ever happens with your main job, you’ll of course still have some money coming in. Another tip? The more you make, the more you’ll make. Try to look for investment opportunities, whether that means buying a second house and letting it out to someone else, or whether it means moving to an area that you know is up and coming.

A strange thing to think of here is board games. If you’ve ever played Monopoly, or any other game where you have to amass a kind of resource, then you might have found that it pays to invest wisely early on. To get the card that will pay out just a little bit every round, or that will prevent you from losing a little bit every round.

These seem like small changes in the short term but over the course of the game, they ultimately put you in a position of great power and help you to win decisively! It’s the same in real life. Make a few right choices that will build up over time. Know what you want. Be patient. And avoid the temptation to splurge on the short-term gratification. That is how you get into a wealthy mindset!

If you could genuinely master your emotions  take complete control over the way you felt at any given time – then that would be the ultimate technique. I’m serious. If you could do this, then you would become unstoppable in a fight. You would become relentless in the gym. And you would be able to apply yourself to a task in a way that would previously have been impossible.

I imagine that you’re probably rolling your eyes at this point. You probably think I’ve been reading too many hippy blogs. Maybe reading a little too much fluffy self-help. But I’m serious. Most people seriously underestimate the power and influence of their emotions. So, allow me to elucidate you and then demonstrate how you can get your state of mind back under control. At least to some degree.

Unlimited Strength, Perfect Focus, Incredible

Creativity and Social Skills

That’s quite a bold heading right there and you might already be shaking your head in disbelief. But hear me out.

Emotions and Strength

Want strength? Some of the most feared fighters in history were known as the Beserkers. These Norse warriors were so called because of their ‘bersker rage’ – a mad fit of anger that they would fly into on the battle field. In this heightened and agitated state, they would become almost invulnerable and would also be able to accomplish feats of incredible strength.

There have been more recent accounts of something similar too. Hysterical strength is a term used to describe more recent scenarios where individuals have seemingly been able to dig into an immense reserve of strength at will. This is where the stories of Mothers lifting cars off of their children trapped beneath come in. Likewise, there is a story of a rock climber who managed to bench press themselves free of a huge boulder likely 200KG or more.

Think it’s just a myth? Turns out there is a solid scientific explanation for how this might be possible. Under extreme stress, it seems likely that the body produces excess amounts of testosterone, adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones increase the heartrate, focus, awareness and muscle tone and that is where the extra strength comes from.

Actually, it goes a little deeper than that even. You see, all of us have limits to our strength imposed by our minds and our biology. When you go to lift a weight, you do so by recruiting muscle fiber  little bands that make up the muscle and contract in order to give us our strength. The most muscle fiber that the average person can recruit at once under normal circumstances is around 30%.

The most that a highly trained athlete can recruit is closer to 50%. So, a highly trained athlete is only capable of tapping into roughly half of their maximum strength. This is what we mean when we refer to a ‘mind muscle connection’. Ever seen someone get electrocuted in a movie (think Jurassic Park)? As you know, the idea is that the individual will get flung across the room into the far wall.

What throws them? Their own muscle. The electricity causes all the muscle to contract at once, which creates such a jolt that the person goes absolutey flying. Imagine if you could harness that power and use it to leap up onto a roof!
The reason we can’t access so much of our strength is a) that it would likely cause us injury as we would break a muscle, pull a ligament etc. and b) that it would fatigue us.

If we were to use that much of our muscle power in a single movement, we’d have no energy left for anything else!
But under the right circumstances, being able to dip into these huge reserves of strength is incredibly useful. And adrenaline and other hormones under the right conditions allow us to tap into that power.

Studies show that yelling in the gym can actually increase adrenaline and thereby enhance muscle fiber recruitment, resulting in strength improvements! Now imagine if you could tap into even just 80% of that power at will? Simply by harnessing your emotions?

Emotions for Calm, Collected Focus

But there’s only so far that being able to leap tall buildings and punch through walls will get you. In the real world, physical strength isn’t really what matters. This then is where the ‘flow state’ comes in. A flow state is often describes as a state of calm, focused, bliss. It is what happens when the world seems to slow down because you are so intently focused and engaged on what you are doing.

Have you ever opened a cupboard and seen everything fall out but moved in super-fast motion to catch it? That’s a flow state. More often we hear about it in extreme sports – athletes finding their flow and being able to pull off incredible stunts at incredible speeds. Outside of physical activities it is seen in music. When the entire band synchronizes during a jam, this is a type of flow state.

When you have a conversation with someone that lasts all night, that’s a flow state. When you’re writing a book and you write so long that you don’t even notice the time passing that is a flow state. Studies show us that executives in flow manage are hugely more productive than those that aren’t. The same goes for startups.

So, what is flow? Essentially, it’s another emotion. Another mental state that is triggered by the release of hormones and neurotransmitters. In this case, it is a subtle variation on the fight or flight response, a subtle variation on stress and panic. Here, you believe something is just as important as preventing yourself from getting injured, it is just as compelling as fighting for your life  but it is also fun rather than scary.

You have the entire attention of your body and mind which brings about a release of excitatory hormones along with calming ones and those related with bliss  such as anandamide. This actually suppresses activity in the prefrontal cortex, triggering a state known as ‘temporary hypofrontality’. This prevents us from worrying, from second guessing or from over-thinking.

We just do. It’s the opposite to how most of us live our lives today and that’s why many of us are filled with anxiety, frozen with fear. Imagine being able to talk up to a woman/man in a bar and deliver your wittiest conversation ever. Imagine being able to talk in front of an audience with passion and conviction and enrapture them completely in what you’re saying. Imagine being able to work on the projects that matter to you for hours on end without even looking up.

No fear. No doubt. No bursts of anger or unwanted emotion. And this is when our best work is done. This is when we are happiest. Many people try and live their lives in flow as much as possible. The problem is that most of us are full of anxiety and busy with chores and things we need to do.

These limitations leave us stressed, anxious and busy and they take our mind out of the moment. Our entire body and mind cannot possibly be in-sync when we are worrying about debt, or what our boss said at the office.Entering flow means being in the moment which not only makes you happy and confident  it makes you unstoppable.

Creativity

Changing your emotions can even make you more creative. The opposite of a flow state is something called the default mode network. This is a network of brain regions that spring into action when you are engaged in boring repetitious work or when you are just relaxing. This is what happens when you allow yourself to become completely at ease and let your mind wander.

Now many people give this mental state a hard time. They say that this is when your ‘inner Woody Allen’ chirps up. This is the opposite to ‘living in the moment’. But in fact, this is also when your creativity kicks in. This is the state that Einstein was in when he came up with his special theory of relativity (while working in a patent office!).
This is daydreaming and that is when we come up with plans, ideas and more.

No emotion is a bad thing. The answer is just being able to tap into the right emotion at the right time. It’s about emotional control.

Social Skills
And finally, the obvious power of emotion: social skill. If you want to seem confident, then you need to stop worrying about what others think. If you want to be a leader, then you need to be able to take command, not second guess yourself and not get upset and visibly riled when things go wrong. If you want to engage others and make friends and partners, you need to be charismatic, engaging and entertaining.

All these things are based once again on having control over your emotions. But the thing is: most of us don’t have any control. Most of us sulk when we don’t have a good day and put ourselves in even more of a funk. Most of us are scared when things are wrong. When we’re stressed, we argue with our partners and avoid important work in the office. We sabotage ourselves, undermine ourselves and struggle to get things done  all because we can’t control our emotions.

Taking Control

So how do you take back control over your emotions? There are multiple ways, but let’s address two important points: physiology and mindset. Physiology refers to the fact that your emotions are really an extension of how you feel. Emotions describe things like happiness, sadness, anger, fear. We think that these emotions are born from our minds but a lot of the time, that’s not the case at all.

Rather, emotions come from our bodies. Emotions come from feelings which include things like hunger, tiredness, hot, cold. The very function of your emotions is to trigger behaviors that will help you to fix the way you feel. When you haven’t eaten enough lately, your blood sugar dips. This in turn triggers a release of cortisol – the stress hormone. This tells you that something needs to change and wakes you up and in the wild, this would have encouraged you to look for food.

When you eat, your blood sugar spikes, you produce leptin and serotonin. This makes you happy and content and encourages you to sleep  eventually serotonin converts to melatonin the sleep hormone. So, in other words, the way you feel is often the result your physiology and that changes the way you think. You think you’re angry because you had a bad day? Possibly. More likely, you had a bad day because you’re angry.

And you’re angry because:
You didn’t sleep
You’re in mild pain
You haven’t eaten enough
You’ve eaten the wrong things

You get the gist? So, one way to change your emotions and to take back control is to acknowledge this. Firstly, recognize that if you’re angry, it’s probably due to physiological reasons and it will pass. At least it won’t seem so bad later.

Secondly, seek to change this. Eat something. Sleep. Take the cue. Learn to follow your own rhythms and work when you’re naturally most productive. Follow the rhythms of the day and get your circadian cycles in check.
And at the same time, look at ways you can directly control your physiology. The very best way? Breathing!

If you learn to breathe correctly (using belly breathing to fill the lower portion of the lungs, then the upper portion) and if you use slow, controlled breaths, then you will be able to lower your heartrate and calm your entire body. This will change your parasympathetic tone, taking you out of ‘fight or flight’ and into ‘rest and digest’.

Try it the next time you feel overly stressed, overly competitive or worked up after an intense workout – your heart rate will slow and your mind will grow calmer. The other tool you can use is something called CBT. Now we’re looking at the psychological, self-talk aspect. CBT stands for ‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy’ and this is a popular form of psychotherapeutic intervention used to treat phobias and other anxiety disorders.

The idea is to look at the content of your thoughts. The self-talk that you give yourself to work yourself into a panic, or to calm yourself down. If you are thinking things like “I’m worried I might fall off that ledge” then of course you are going to be scared. If you think things like “I’m grateful for my wife” then you will be less likely to feel unhappy with where you are in life.

It goes deeper than that of course. You can use CBT to challenge long-held beliefs and to break negative self-talk habits by challenging your thoughts and testing your hypotheses. This is called ‘cognitive restructuring’.
In the short term, you can use CBT techniques in order to more honestly assess your state of mind and your emotions and to then change the way you feel about a situation.

So if you were stressed that you had a deadline you couldn’t meet and it was ruining your evening, then you might use cognitive restructuring in order to assess the thoughts making you stressed and replace them with more productive ones.

For example, you might consider:
What is the point of being stressed? Will it make matters better?
What’s the worst case scenario? Would it really be that bad to tell the boss you can’t finish work on time? Are they expecting too much of you anyway?
When was the last time you did this?
Are there other ways you could lessen the blow?
What would you rather pay attention to right now?

Combine this with controlled breathing and bring your focus to the thing that is most useful to you right now. In the long term, you can use CBT in order to bridge the gap between your thoughts and your physiology. You see, your physiology and your emotions are designed to drive you toward desirable states: sex, food, shelter, love, success, social acceptance.

The problem is that the tasks you need to accomplish often don’t get you those things in the short term. In the long term, entering data into that spreadsheet helps you keep your job which helps you pay for food and keep your family!
But in the short term, it just means more boring paperwork.

So now you need to remind yourself why you do what you do. And you’ll do this not only with words but with visualization. Picture where you want to be. Picture the wealth you want to have, the success, the satisfaction. Then remind yourself that the things you do today are actually driving you toward the things you want. This is when your heart and mind will finally be on the same page. And that’s when anything becomes possible.